Crushin'

CRUSH (n.)
1. During harvest season when the grapes are picked then crushed or squeezed for juice.
2. A painful experience, very common among middle schoolers, that involves being obsessed with a member of the opposite sex for any length of time; also, the object of this affection.

Whether you are in winemaking or the throes of unrequited middle school love, crush is upon us. In honor of such an occasion (which on the wine farm happens once annually, and in the alternative scenario ad infinitum) – we thought we’d throw together an index of wine tasting terms applicable to both wine glass and love interest. Read on and share our childlike enthusiasm for imagining our honeyboo boo childs through wine terminology:

SUBTLE (adj.)
Delicate or slightly mysterious, difficult to perceive or understand, subtlety is an art form.
YOUR WINE: Possessing finesse, flavors that are understated rather than full-blown or overt.

AGGRESSIVE (adj.)
Making an all-out effort to succeed, being boldly assertive and confidently self-assured, IN IT TO WIN IT.
YOUR WINE: Harsh or pronounced in taste or texture, usually due to a high level of acid or tannin.

FORWARD (adj.)
Direct, honest, and upfront: usually the way you are not when it comes to crushing.
YOUR WINE: Having bold, easily distinguishable flavors. Matured to the ideal age, having reached its full flavor potential realized. (…but how great does that sound?)

with nice LEGS (n.)
The viscous droplets that form and ease down the sides of the glass when the wine is swirled—indicating fullness. Alternatively, sexy when tanned.

… and avoid those which are NUTTY, MUSTY, BITTER or BLUNT. And don’t come crying to us if you don’t take that advice.